Globo-chem visits the Merritt’s

Conversation with Lawn Chemical Guys trying to sell me treatment for my yard:

LCG: Hi! I’m wondering if you are interested in some lawn treatment.

Me: No. Thanks.

LCG: But have you noticed? You have clover in your lawn.

Me: Yeah. I noticed. I figure as long as it’s green, it’s good.

LCG: Well, we can take care of that.

Me: I don’t like to use chemicals on my lawn.

LCG: Well, we do use chemicals, but it won’t harm your children or pets.

Me: Mmmm. I’m not interested.

LCG: (Dramatically, triumphantly pulling out a leaf with holes in it) Oh yeah? Well are you interested now?

Me: (Looking to the side.) Nnnoooo.

LCG: Do you know what this IS? (Pointing to the leaf, even more emphatically.)

Me: What is it? (Expecting news of a plague of biblical proportions.)

LCG: THIS is a sign of insects! I just pulled this leaf off of your tree seconds ago. YOU have INSECTS living in your tree!

Of course I have insects living in my tree. That’s where insects live. What has the world come to? I’m supposed to be upset by that? I’m supposed to buy chemicals to get rid of them? Do my neighbors buy this stuff?


photo by tanakawho    

7 thoughts on “Globo-chem visits the Merritt’s

  1. It’s an odd, odd thing. I read a study a year or so back that showed that Americans dedicated more arable land to grass than we do to corn and wheat. It’s our number one crop…and all we do is cut it, and then go inside to watch tv.

  2. have they not seen that movie Antz, Bugs Life, or The Secret of NIHM? I think we use to many chemicals to control the environment. We seek to move the beauty of creation and Gods creatures into our self-sealing, climate-control sphere. Not good for us. Not good for good creation.

  3. We get the same thing every spring because of our “eclectic green” front yard. Yeah, so there are six shades, I’m okay with that. I’m also okay when it’s brown in August. There are so many good causes for my money and my lawn is just not that important to me.

    My neighbor, on the other hand…..

  4. I guess i’m somewhere in the middle. I hate watering the lawn and will just let it go dormant in the middle of summer.

    Clover is absolutely fine, but there are some weeds in our yard that if they aren’t controlled they will literally take over (we’re in a new housing development, so stuff that was in the ground before crops up all the time). Also, Japanese beetles eat the stuff we garden (basil and other tasty things), so we have to kill the slugs that turn into those too.

    I try to get by with as little chemicals as I can and always hate it when I have to use them. But I’m with you…I have no desire to hire a chemical company to do an eradication.

  5. I have to get rid of the fire ants. They will take over otherwise. And, I had a wasp colony removed from my roof, there were literally hundreds. I was afraid it would be a liability if someone’s kid was swarmed. Not to mention my own. We let the spiders stay until we found 2 black widows. But, I live right next to the country and there’s no shortage of bugs. I let the bees in my garden, I even planted stuff that they love. I do not care if I have clover or weeds. As long as it’s not poisonous and/ or too painful it can stay.

    I tried the cayenne pepper thing on the ants and it didn’t work. (It’s supposed to kill or chase them off, I think it brought more though.)

    @ Jim, I don’t know about killing beetles but I usually pick out all the grubs I can find and get rid of them when I plant. (Grubs are beetle larvae) Diamitrous earth will kill slugs. It cuts up the bottom of their bodies when they slither over it and they die. And it’s good for the soil. I try to keep the herbs organic, but not always.

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